YACK YACK!

There are ethics, and then there are ethics. And movie viewing has ethics.

First of all, NO punk can talk during a movie, else I slowly karate chop the lawbreaker’s knee cap off, no matter how long it takes.

Second, turn off your bloody mobile phones!!!!!!! Else I violently appropriate them whilst spitting phlegm upon thy brow -- you smelly snail-entrails! -- and dash thy handset to smithereens upon the earth.

Third, fidget not! Else I shall strap you down and administer electric shock therapy, using my blown out hairdrier as the medium of castigation.

Fourth, watch the movie!! That’s why yer here, iddinnit? Else I shall lock you in a small pink room aerated by nought but a breezy flatulence-charged air-conditioner.